What to do with Santa?

I have intentionally avoided this post for quite awhile because I do not feel like there is a "one-size-fits-all-answer" to this question.  It is a personal decision that has to be made by each individual family.  I know that there are people who think that Santa is damaging to children and there are others who think that people are cruel if they don't let their kids enjoy the magic of Christmas.  As with many other issues, I think that the reality lies somewhere in between the two extremes.

As far as this post is concerned, I only feel comfortable sharing how we have handled this issue in our family.  Please understand that we do not think that this is the only way or even the right way to approach this topic.  In fact, I created a disclaimer for posts just like this. 

Like many other families, we decided early on that we would not lie to our kids about Santa.  When they asked, we would tell them the truth. Honesty even in this context was important to us.  What we did not factor into this approach is that our daughter (now, age 8) is the product of two attorneys, and she enjoyed questioning and debating things from a very early age.  The Christmas she turned two, she asked me point blank about Santa.  For those who think that I could have simply dodged the question, you have to understand that Grace's standard response to being side-stepped was, "I am sorry, but that is not the question that I asked".  I found myself completely blind sided and being cross examined way before we had anticipated having to deal with this question.  Since the only decision that we had made was not to lie to our kids, I told her the truth.

Our son (now, age 7) is wired very differently.  He has never asked, and we have not felt the need to sit him down and make sure that he knows that Santa is not real.  I honestly don't know what he thinks.  We have had very candid conversations with Grace about Santa while Sam was in the room. So, I think that he probably knows the truth on some level, but he has never brought up the issue.

While we don't avoid Santa, we don't emphasize him either. Last year, I experimented with our Christmas decorations and did not set out anything related to Santa.  The kids didn't even notice. Since he is not our focus, we don't write letters to Santa unless we are asking for things for other people.  We also don't do Santa gifts because we want the kids to understand that there is a cost associated with these gifts.  If they don't receive an extravagant gift that they asked for, it is because it was too expensive or because we didn't think that it was the right gift for them and not because their behavior was not good enough this year.  Also, we want them to be able to thank the people who bought them the gifts.  (See this old post.)

Even without believing in Santa, Grace LOVES Christmas. We have so much fun throughout the entire month.  It is truly a magical time, and she has not been harmed in anyway.  It is her absolute favorite time of the year.  Grace's love language is words of affirmation.  She gets significantly more enjoyment out of her letter than she ever would from gifts left by Santa.  Sam's love language is quality time.  We spend more time together during December while doing our advent activities and family nights than we do any other time.  Santa has very little to do with their overall happiness. 

That being said, we like Santa. He is chubby, has grey hair and likes to make children happy. I can relate to this guy! We have some super cute Santa pictures. We love our Santa hats. We read Santa books--Twas the Night Before Christmas is one of my favorites. We have been known to put out reindeer feed. Also, riding the North Pole Express is one of our favorite Christmas activities, and the kids and I love the movie ELF!  I really see no difference between Santa and any other fictional character.  In fact, I like him a lot more than most super heros and Disney Characters.  If we are not banning all of these from our home, I see no reason to completely eliminate Santa either.

For our family, enjoying Santa in a limited role has worked well.  But, I know that many people take a more aggressive stance and don't include Santa in their Christmas celebration at all.  I have heard parents say that they are concerned that their children will question the existence of Christ if they believe in Santa and then discover that he is not real.  Honestly, I think that if you treat Christ like a once a year holiday, then you may have a legitimate concern here.  However, if you are making Christ the center of your family, I don't think that the truth about Santa is going to undermine your child's faith.  Many strong Christians grew up in homes where Santa was celebrated, and they have transitioned out of this phase without it damaging their Christian walk.

At the end of the day, we all love our children and want the very best for them.  God has entrusted your precious children to you, and you get to decide how your family celebrates Christmas.  The ultimate truth is that a perfect Savior was born to save the world.  This is the greatest gift of all and should be celebrated all year long.  We are loved by a perfect God and have the chance to spend all of eternity with Him.  This truth prevails with or without Santa Claus. 

My Favorite Santa Picture 2008